Just Enough Volcano Roses

These are my mothers Day Roses.  

They are from Bouqs. 

They are also some of the prettiest roses I have ever seen. The roses were grown on the side of a active Volcano so the cool factor of them is pretty high as well. Mothers day was really nice this year.  I got a cute homemade necklace from Bella and some cute pictures from Liam. I am now in the position where having more children is not only improbable but foolish I have a renewed sense of gratitude for the children I have.  I have also been blessed to not have an overwhelming sense of wanting more children.  I think being not just satisfied but really enjoying what you have, as though you wouldn't take more even if it was offered to you, is the best head space to find yourself in. I think Merry Poppins said "just enough is as good as a feast."  That is how I feel about my children. Like my simple pink roses I love them and wouldn't want anything more, perhaps when they wilt I will used the dried flower petals in my soaps so I can enjoy them for some months to come.

Small Batch Jam

Homemade V.S. Store Bought

I am all about DIY saving money and so on.  Some things however are worth your time to make not only because it is cheaper but that the homemade version is just so much better than anything at the store.  The other reason to home make is that you can add a little special touch to something you otherwise wouldn't get at the store. After all the items at the store are there to make someone money. So adding expensive bonuses to the items may not be as profitable for them. DIY doesn't have to be hard or time consuming ether. After some simple set up the doing it yourself can take less time than a trip to the farmers market.

I learned about small batch canning form the kitchn.

I grew up with a mom that canned. Canning days were all consuming filled with boxes of apples and giant pots boiling all day long.  The kitchen was hot and sticky and gross.  So I never really picked up canning because one - I don't have a big pantry to hold 200 plus jars of applesauce and two - It would take my small family of 4 about 5 or so years to consume that much applesauce or jam or anything else really. So when I saw this site and the small 4 cup batches of jam and jelly, well this had my interest. With about 45 min of work I could get 6 months or so worth of breakfast jam.  This sounded doable. So I gave it a go.

My recipe

4 cups strawberries
3 cups sugar (I think I will use only 2 next time. It turned out a bit too sweet)
1/2 of a split open vanilla bean (this is the special touch I added real vanilla bean is so good)
4 1/2 Tablespoon Pectin

the only thing I didn't have on hand was pectin
I also go a couple of tools.  I little stick magnet for pulling lids out of boiling water. Also a Jar lifter.  These were worth the $4 splurge.

If you want a step by step canning process Ball has a good one. They also have a great pectin calculator.
It makes it easy. you even can pick the fruit you are using and so on.

It took me about 1 hour in all.  I think next time it won't take quite so long since this was my first go. So yeah that's it. Yummy homemade jam and still time to write in my blog all in one night. The only thing is I will now be investing in several more "baby" canning jars.

The Cancer Club

When I was first diagnosed with cancer (like within the first 20 min after hearing the words) I remember being really worried I would turn into one of those cancer fun run enthusiasts (for reasons why see above). Considering what I was up against it probably should not have been on my list of worries but there it was.  I was just  really genuinely concerned, as though someone from Live-strong was lurking around the corner waiting to assign me a pink shirt with a number. They would then hold me at gun point as I would be forced to run 5K after 5K.

I didn't want to ever say "My Cancer" as though it was a pet of some kind. To be attached to it emotionally. It was embarrassing to me.  I was too young and too healthy to have the big C. It was some sick joke and I didn't want to be a part of it.

In truth I now realize, what I was worried about was that something good might have the audacity to come out of being diagnosed with cancer. It was such an awful blow to be hit with. I felt like God had lost his mind. My Grandma Lois always said things work out for the best and I believed her. But this was different I knew she didn't mean cancer. I wanted to show God he was wrong to have allowed this to happen to me and the only way to do that was for nothing good to ever come from it.

I went to my monthly group meeting last night. I love going and being involved with my "survivors club." Thankfully they haven't asked to, but I would strap on pink tutu and go running with them any time.  It's hard to explain it from the other side of it. I can't say I would ever recommend to anyone that they get Hopkins lymphoma "because it's totally the best cancer ever!" But even I have to admit that it hasn't been all bad.

Endothermic Life

Hi I'm Kelvin

Exothermic:
In chemistry exothermic is defined as a chemical reaction that produces heat. Heat is in its most basic form is movement. Specifically the motion of atoms. In contrast, endothermic is a chemical reaction that absorbed heat. We think of putting things in the fridge to add cold but really cold is simply removed heat. Kelvin (this dude here) came up with absolute zero. Which is the point that an atoms is no longer in motion.

So one thing you should already know about me at this point is that I am a geek. I don't watch big bang theory, I live it. I often surround myself with bigger geeks and dorks (aka some of my extended family) to give myself an ill-gotten sense that I am really cool. But deep down I know the truth, I am a big geeky geek who has just enough self awareness to try to hid it most of the time.

The reason I named my blog "Endothermic Life" (besides being a giant chemistry dork) is simple. Life keeps moving. It produces heat, sometimes more than we would like and sometimes less. We don't get to choose all the events and people that we are mixed with in this life. We do get to decide how we will react. Every min of every day we are deciding and reacting.  Sometimes situations and people are so endothermic they literally suck the heat or movement from us. I have been there. The only way to overcome it is to become Exothermic. To keep moving. This is what I want from my life. Beautiful movement by living in a balanced way that produces constant warmth for those I love around me.

As for what this blog is about... Well it's pretty much going to be whatever I crap I want it to be.  After all, it's mine. I am not setting any perimeters. I am not going to pretend I don't swear or that my house and kids and I are living on some alternate plane where it never rains tears and that life is always presentably peachy. Were every craft turns out as though it was produced by Martha herself and that you should feel both in-adequate and in-awe of my domestic prowess. This is not at all my goal. 

I am writing this as though it is being read but to be totally honest my blog is really not for anyone. Please don't take this the wrong way but as a cancer survivor I don't spend nearly as much time as I used to worried about how I may being coming across to people. This blog is for me and my sanity. To organize my thoughts and feelings. The reason I am making it public an sharing it online is less selfishly motivated. I recently graduated from a cancer transitions group. It was there that I realized how universal our feelings and experiences really are. While we are unique there is so much magic in others vocalizing to a tee how you feel. It's as though it is an exothermic reaction. You become warmer and life seems more doable.